Fortress Under Siege and current treatment status

It has been quite a week here at ALL Cancer Central. I have gone through Five courses of very powerful chemo drugs, two lumbar punctures, an echocardiogram, EKGs, CT Scans, and an MRI. Plus in the middle of it all on Saturday it was Sherrie's 53rd birthday. The day of her birthday came and I had totally forgotten. I was crushed. When we married, I vowed never to forget her birthday, our anniversary, or Valentine's Day, and I failed. I'm sure that most of you would say, considering the circumstances it is not a problem but, with my emotions running high I was in tears. Sherrie in her wonderful kind love reassured me that all was ok and she knew I loved her. I want you all to know I truly do! She is the love of my life, my eternal companion. My deepest desire is to be with her and spend time with her. Listen to her laugh, smile, take her advice, and just be with her. I am so grateful that God brought her into my life over 35 years ago and will be into eternity.

In addition, the pain I've been experiencing has been almost unbearable and it has prevented my sleeping for many days. The doctors have been stumped as to what to do because only a portion of the pain is related to the cancer, the rest is from my chronic back problems. At home, I have a regimen of stretches, medication, sleeping location, and movements that I use to manage the pain but all these are not available in the hospital so sleep has been a ghost to me. But, I think we have finally got the pain meds on the right schedule, my body is adjusting to the sleeping arrangements and things are improving. I hope tonight will be a good night. 

Now as for a cancer update: 

 Chemo is proceeding as planned and side effects have been minimal. The spinal tap results came back and there is no evidence of cancer within the Central Nervous System spinal fluid which means fewer spinal taps to treat the cancer and it helps with the prognosis. Besides, they are no fun to have so I couldn't be happier though I still have to do some including tomorrow. They can take 30 - 40 min to complete and you are bent up like a pretzel during the entire time, I can wait for tomorrow. They installed a PICC line (A thin, flexible tube inserted into a vein in the upper arm and threaded into a larger vein near the heart, typically the superior vena cava. It is used for long-term intravenous (IV) administration of medications, fluids, blood products, and for drawing blood samples.) line into my arm and they draw blood and run tests every six hours. I don't understand what all the numbers mean but I have been told they look good. In speaking with the team today there have been some results in the test that affect when I will be able to leave the hospital so, I may be staying in the hospital for an entire treatment sequence which could be at least a month but still not sure. Unfortunately, with Leukemia it is very much a wait-and-see game. 

Basically, they come up with a treatment plan based on all the tests, implement the plan, test the results, and then determine the next steps and that just takes time. 

There are three possible outcomes of the treatment. Remission/maintenance, No effect or Recurrence. 

One Remission/maintenance: At biopsy, there are no cancer cells found in the bone marrow. This means remission has been achieved and I am switched to a maintenance dose of therapy for a couple of years and then at the end of 5 years if there are no cancer cells then I am considered cured. 

Two No Effect: (least desirable): The treatment is applied, the cancer cells are resistant and they are still viable in the bone marrow. In this case, things are reevaluated and treatment starts again in hopes of reaching remission. 

Three Recurrence: At some point, remission was reached but the cancer cells returned and then you start all over again. Unfortunately, there is a fourth result, the worst of the worst-case scenario, the cancer cells become completely resistant and there is nothing more that can be done. Of course, we are praying for the first result but unfortunately, we just have to wait and see. 

While we wait for the chemo to do its job, I will go through times when my immune system is essentially shut down and I alternate between the hospital when I am most susceptible to infection and home but being very careful to avoid infection. My last treatment in this cycle, is not until Wednesday and then we will see what the hospital plan is from there. 

As I've contemplated the need to defend my physical “castle” from the scourge of Leukemia I have come to understand that the fight for my spiritual castle, even my whole soul, is also vital to my eternal joy and happiness and is always required. Moroni was a perfect example of Christ Like preparation to defend his people as he had them in constant preparation for war especially in the weakest parts. He, “in their weakest fortifications he did place the greater number of men; and thus he did fortify and strengthen the land which was possessed by the Nephites. “And thus he was preparing to support their liberty, their lands, their wives, and their children, and their peace, and that they might live unto the Lord their God, and that they might maintain that which was called by their enemies the cause of Christians.” Alma 48:9-10 We need to ask ourselves what are our weakest parts. Where are we falling short? How can we fortify ourselves against the adversary? 

To come off conquerors we must put Christ first in our lives and live according to his gospel and truth only then can we find joy.