Traveling a Challenging Road

 

It has been some time since I have written as we have been traveling a challenging road. I‘ve experienced some serious side effects from the immunotherapy drugs. Blinatumomab (Blincyto) can cause serious, potentially life-threatening side effects, including cytokine release syndrome (CRS), infusion reactions, and neurological problems like immune effector cell-associated neurotoxicity syndrome (ICANS), requiring immediate medical attention. Unfortunately, I have experienced both side effects. When I started treatment I experienced CRS which is like a severe case of the flu including headache, body aches, fever, etc. but to the extreme. Fortunately, they had an antidote that quickly helped me to recover. So I avoided any serious harm and was able to go home after a few days.

Unfortunately, a couple of weeks later I began to show signs of neurological problems. Sherrie said I began to be unable to speak clearly, was confused, and struggled to understand what people were saying. She took me to the hospital where they immediately admitted me. They promptly took me off the Blinatumomab and started me on massive doses of steroids. It took several days but I was again able to speak clearly and am now back to normal and was able to start the medication again along with the steroids. I am not sure how long I will be in the hospital but I know it will be at least until Monday which means I will not be able to take Sammie to the reptile expose that he was looking forward to for several months which saddens my heart greatly.

Needless to say, it has been a scary few weeks and It has caused me to reflect more on the life of the Savior and his sacrifice for me. He completely understands what I am going through and that knowledge gives me strength. Elder Holland gave a great talk on “Tomorrow the Lord Will Do Wonders among You”. It is powerful when he said “ Keep loving. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep growing. Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever.: This phrase hit me with such power that I began to weep. To know that heaven is cheering me including my dad and a host of others. I know I am not alone in this fight no matter the outcome. The Lord will make up for any losses in the end. 

President George Q. Cannon once taught: “No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will. He cannot do it. It is not His character [to do so]. … He will [always] stand by us. We may pass through the fiery furnace; we may pass through deep waters; but we shall not be consumed nor overwhelmed. We shall emerge from all these trials and difficulties the better and purer for them.”

I know that the Lord loves us and will not leave us comfortless. We will overcome if we live according to the Lord's will. To raise money to help with our medical and other expenses, I create a store to sell Leukemia awareness merchandise. The slogan I created is “Defeat Leukemia with Faith, Family, and Will” The meaning to me is very deep. First, we must have faith in the Lord as that Is what comes first before anything else. First, we must know that God exists and he loves us with a love that we cannot comprehend. We must know he is real and not some phantom mist but a Loving Father In Heaven. The second part of the slogan is Family, of course, must have all the support we can get to make it through trials, and family and friends are the source of that help but it is also part of the plan of salvation “For behold this is my work and my glory to bring to pass the eternal life of man” Moses 3:19 and that plan includes the Atonement of Jesus Christ. And the third part of the slogan is Will. We must have the will to fight but we also have to turn our will over to God. He knows what is best for us and will bring about our greatest happiness. 

Though the future is unsure we will keep up the fight and rely on the Lord and his goodness. I also want to thank everyone for your support and love. We will somehow come out on top.