Bone Marrow Transplant and the Easter Message

It is official, we will be moving forward with a bone marrow transplant. My body will not tolerate the Blincyto (Immunotherapy drug) so, I will not be able to use it to fight my cancer. The next option is the bone marrow transplant route, which has a lot of challenges of its own. There are many tests you have to take beforehand, like an echocardiogram, a Pulmonary Function Test (PFTs), meet with a counselor, and several others. This is all to see if you and your body are up for the challenge of the transplant.

We don’t meet with the transplant doctor until May 5th, but some of the tests will start before then. So, in reality, we don’t know what to expect for sure. I have read a lot about it, but it is very generic and does not apply to my specific situation. But at least it gives us a general idea, and it is a rough process, but we are hopeful. Successful transplants have a pretty good 5-year mortality rate, and if they are very successful, it can be decades of living. So again, we are hopeful. So, thank you for all your prayers.

Easter time is a great opportunity to take some time to pray and contemplate, and mine has brought many tears, last night in particular. Once again, I couldn’t sleep, and my mind started racing. Thoughts camp fast, frequently, and sometimes randomly, but then my mind landed on the thought, Do I really believe in God and life after this one? I became weighed down and felt something trying to help that thought to fester in my mind. I can’t possibly believe in a God, this life is all there is, and why should I even fight the cancer? And so my mind went, and again I felt Satan’s minions trying to convince me there was no hope of God. I’ll admit I was being pushed to the edge of my belief, and I was still feeling that way when I fell asleep. When I woke in the morning, I was in a lot of pain, and I felt the thoughts saying See the pain you are in, why keep fighting, But even with that weight, I was determined to go to church. I needed help, and that is where I could get it. Thankfully, it was the Easter Sunday Service, so it was centered on Christ. There were great talks and incredible music and I could’t keep my eyes dry, By in the end my faith as renewed and I knew that God is real, His son is Jesus Christ and He attoned for our sins and was resurrected and I also know the Holy Ghost is real and He testifies of truth and comforts us when we are discouraged and down as He did for me now. 

Today’s service was inspiring, and the resurrection of the Savior is central to the Eternal Plan. Knowing this gives me hope for the future, regardless of what happens with my cancer. I will be resurrected as promised by the Father because of His Son. As Joseph Smith declared;

“The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 121).

The resurrection and the atonement of Jesus Christ give me hope for the future, and I hope it does for you as well.