Wailing on the Bone Marrow Transplant details and being Still

Back in the hospital again for my third round of chemo since I began this journey, before my bone marrow transplant. I wish I had more details to give you about the transplant, but we still won’t get more details until the 5th of May, when we meet with Daniel R. Couriel, the Bone Marrow Doctor. In the meantime, I’ve had my echocardiogram and pulmonary Function Test. Unfortunately, while we have been waiting, I ended up with a DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis), a blood clot in my shoulder, which formed around my PICC line, which is not too uncommon. It causes swelling and pain that feels like someone forgot to take off a blood pressure cuff while it was inflated. So, they started me on blood thinners, which is always a risk for someone with leukemia due to the bleeding risk, but my platelet count was normal, so we went ahead. I am due for one of my regular Lumbar Punctures on Monday, so they changed to a different blood thinner because I can't be on the other several days beforehand. We went into the hospital on Thursday, and we hope to be out of here by Sunday, and then just come back on Monday for outpatient treatment, but that all depends on how my blood work looks. Needless to say, we are pretty anxious about our meeting with Dr. Couriel and what the next steps are, but we are hopeful that it will be good news. 

I have spent a lot of time in the hospital, not only working on my online store, but also listening to many conference talks. Especially talks on faith in Christ and making it through trials. Several stood out to me, but one in particular was a talk by Elder Bednar entitled “Be Still, and Know That I Am God.” The idea that stuck with me is that even in struggles, trials, or even good times, we must be still and listen to the spirit. Elde Bedmar focused on,  “I believe the Lord’s admonition to “be still” entails much more than simply not talking or not moving. Perhaps His intent is for us to remember and rely upon Him and His power “at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in.” Thus, “be still” may be a way of reminding us to focus upon the Savior unfailingly as the ultimate source of the spiritual stillness of the soul that strengthens us to do and overcome hard things.”  I agree that it is through the Savior that we can find the stillness we need in this tumultuous world and the hard things we are called to pass through. 

There are two places where I find the greatest peace and stillness: the temple and my home. The temple, just in its nature of design, is peaceful, but we can go there and not be still. Our minds can be so full of stuff that we forget to leave it behind and focus on what the Endowment really means. I know I have been guilty of this many times myself. But over the last year, I have made an effort to focus on the details of the Endowment and its deeper meaning, and it has brought me closer to the Savior and my Heavenly Father and made me more sensitive to the Holy Ghost. In addition, it has carried over to our home. Sherrie and I have always tried to make our home a place of peace and love, and it is my favorite place to be. It takes a lot of work, like keeping out the evil influence that can come from what we watch and listen to, and choosing to read and pray together as a family. Keeping our language clean. Being the first to apologize. I remember when our kids were growing up, when they were not nice to each other, we made them write 10 nice things about each other. They were, of course, very repetitive or I like her hair, her eyes are pretty, etc., and sometimes humorous. My favorite one was number 10, “I don’t know what I would do without him/her”. Usually, by the end, they were smiling and laughing. They called it their freebie because it was the only one we would not make them rewrite if it was silly. But in reality, it is actually how they felt. These are just a few things we have found to be of value to our family. 

Please, do all you can to attend the temple, whether you are a veteran at it, have not been for a while, or are not currently on the path to get there. Please get there and go. Each of us can see great benefits i our lives by attending. Also, find ways to make your home a sanctuary from the world; it will bring you great peace in your life.